


The Tall Tales of Natasha Romanov

by agirlintheville



Category: Actor RPF, The Avengers (2012), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Crack, Fun Facts, Gen, I wrote this on a train, Kinda, Tall Tales, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-22 18:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/916665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agirlintheville/pseuds/agirlintheville
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Highly suspect and quite definitely made up tales and facts featuring Black Widow</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tall Tales of Natasha Romanov

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based off of the popular Chuck Norris facts (google it, it's awesome) and my love of outrageous tall tales

They say that Natasha Romanov once made Chuck Norris cry.

 

Not like a singly manly tear sliding down his cheek either. Like, he was _crying._ Like hiccupping, nose red, face blotchy, snot falling type of crying. Like a kid who didn't get his bicycle on Christmas...or on his birthday...or even his half birthday.

 

Yeah, supposedly he walked up to her in a bar and everything got quiet because if you're going to interrupt Natasha Romanov's drinking time, then you'd better have damn good reason. Anyway, the story is that he told her she needed a real man to make her quit her super assassin badassery way and keep her in the kitchen.

 

Well, she just put her drink down neatly on the bar and turned and looked him dead in the eye. And they say he started to sniffle at this point because having the Widow's full attention on you is simply frightening. And she just looked at him and pulled his pants down. Not quickly either, like a frat boy prank or something. No, this was slow and methodical and _intimate_. By the time his pants hit the floor, the bar was dead silent. And all she did was look down at his crotch, quirk an eyebrow, and say very evenly, "You are a not a real man." Then she turned away and picked up her drink again.

 

So Chuck, ya know, what can he do, he just got unmanned by the Black Widow _for fuck's sake_. He pulled up his pants and stumbled out the door before he lost his shit in front of everyone.

 

Yeah, apparently, Liam Neeson sat with him in the parking lot and let Chuck cry into his shirt cause Liam's super sweet like that.

 

And that's the story of how Natasha Romanov made Chuck Norris cry.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think!


End file.
